Oh my god, I don't even know what to do anymore. He acts like he dosn't even want to be my friend. I don't know what I did. I know I havn't been to clingy, infact I think i've even been keeping my distance cause I know he dosn't want me around as much. I say hi to him at lunch, then bye before we leave to go home and i give him a hug. Last night he apoligizedd for being so distant that he was busy with school and stuff. Yeah so busy with school he can't even hold a full conversation with me anymore. My god, just last week everyone thought we were going out and now its like we never even knew each other. Like wtf? And today is the day im suposed to give him his present but im gonna wait till the end of the day so i don't have to see him open it. I have a feeling he's gonna think it's really stupid. As much as I bragged about it he's probably expecting somthing extreamly awesome thats not a jar. -_- Oh well.

Sucks to suck

Well... i don't really have much to say. The guy I thought I loved or liked thinks he is inlove with another girl so there gooes that freegin dream. I don't know, i'm tired of dreaming big. I'm tired of trying so hard to keep good grades, trying so hard to get people to like me. I'm just tired of it all. I know working this hard has payed off and will continue to pay off but I just want to escape and give up for awhile. But in reality I can't, so, im just gonna do what I do best: put on a smile, hold my head up and keep on walking.

Graduation Project

Okay, so a few months ago (i think) I posted something about some picture i took for my graduation project.  I finally got them onto my computer. YAYYY! So here they are.
Look them up on google for the origonal images.

 Me as Frida Khalo

 My friend Nathaniel as James Dean

 My friend Adiair as Bob Marley

 Me and Nathaniel as Bonnie and Clide

 Me and Nathaniel as the Sailor and Nurse.

LOST Christmas

A couple posts back I made a post about my favorite show, Lost and how it was the best show on the entire planet. And also in my last I mentioned a guy I think I might like. Well, Lost is kinda what brought us closer as friends.
There was a scene in the first season where Clair, a pregnant chick, tells Charlie, a famous guitarist from the band Drive Shaft, that she is craving peanut butter. Charlie promises her that he can get her a jar of peanut butter. They make some kind of deal, i don't remember what. But the next day Clair wakes up and Charlie tells her that he got her peanut butter. She's like 'OMG! NO WAY!' and he pulled out an empty mason jar. She looks at him disappointed and asks him what that was. He tells her that its the best peanut butter she will ever taste, he then sticks his finger in the jar and pretends to scoop up peanut butter and then "eats" it. Clair gives off a small laugh and proceeds to do the same. SO My point is, I have a mason jar and I am going to do the same thing for my friend for Christmas  I hope he likes it and actually understands why i'm giving him an empty jar for Christmas.

I don't know what to title this.

Okay, so as you may know, I have recently come out of a relationship. I feel fine, well, as fine as someone can be after coming out of a ten month relationship. I took this break up alot better then I did my first high school break up. I was crying off and on for days with that one. But anyways, all week people has been telling that I look depressed or that im not as giddy as I used to be. And im just like, dafu? I thought I was acting the same way I always did, but I guess not. So any ways, I don't know why but I felt like talking about a delima that I have recently placed myself into.
Since September I have been talking to a guy, no lovey dovey stuff, just as friends. Over the past few months we have become really good friends, and now I think I might like him. I know he likes me cause he has told me several times. But the thing is, I don't wont to go out with him 1) because i've only been single for about 5 days. 2) because I don't wont to go out with him, something comes up and we end up breaking up and it get between us and ruin our relationship. I love being friends with him and I would rather be friends with him then nothing at all. And now I just don't know what to do.
Okay, well there goes my problem of the day, enjoy. :)

Boys -_- (OH HEY LOOK I FOUND IT!)

I am constantly getting mad at my boyfriend for random stupid crap tht he does. Now I'm mad at him again, but this time, weel its not the stupidest but I guess its th breaking point. He called me a slut. I know your probably thinking well big deal so waht. Well, it wouldnt be the first time he has done it, he is constantly calling me things like; slut, bitch, whore. He is always telling me that he is joking but its still really annoying. I hav asked him to stop but abviously he doesnt listen ( i don't remember what i was going to say next so you can finish the story on your own.)

Drama is a pain.

Okay well, I forgot to press publish on my last post and for some reason a draft didn't save and i don't feel like retyping it. But pretty much it was just saying how i think me and my boyfriend is going to break up because he was getting really annoying and could be a jerk sometimes. Well, I broke up with him, or atleast I thought I did. One of my friends came up to me earlier today and asked why I had changed my relationship status on Facebook if I was still in a relationship. I told her that I was single and she said that Anthony, my boyfriend (or ex,) was still telling people that we were still going out. And now I don't know what to do cause I thought I made it pretty clear when I said "Anthony, there isn't going to be a next time, I think we should break up." And then of coarse I started to cry but i still don't see how he thinks we are still going out. I'm just really confused now cause I don't want to hurt his feelings. :(

Bipolar People -_-

I swear my mom is bipolar. Just a few weeks ago she was asking me to come home, that she was working to build our relationship together. I stayed over for thanksgiving last week and she kept say, see don't you miss being here with the family don't you want to come back home? So I called her today, she asked why I had called, I told her because I forgot to do so yesterday. She said it was a good thing I didn't cause her phone was messed up, I asked her what was wrong and she told me that it was none of my buisness, then she started to go on about how she couldnt trust me. I asked her what I had done that she couldnt trust me. She said things that I had posted on facebook and just the way I act around her. I asked her what I posted on facebook that caused her not to trust me (cause she dosnt have a facebook.) She said that Tammy, a lady that lives in the neighborhood (whom she does not trust or like for only god knows what reason), had told her about things that I post on facebook. I paused and thought about what I posted on facebook. I don't know what I put on facebook that has made me untrustworthy because I only post my feelings and things that happened to me throughout the day, never anything untrue, If I have somthing to say, I'm gonna say it and im not gonna lie about it. I asked her how did I act that has made her not trust me. As far as I know, the only time I got mad at her was when she would do something really mean and insulting, or start yelling at me for no reason or some other random crap. I only yelled at her when she yelled at me, sometimes not even then. I find myself to be a very trustworthy person. She seems to be the only person on the face of this planet that does not trust me. Why? I don't know. Will I find out? Yes, I will search deaper and deeper until I coem to the meaning, why she stopped loving, and trusting me. And will I go "home" to a place where I can't be trusted or loved? No, it's kind of hard to live with someone who wishes that they had never giving birth to you. What am I going to do about that? Hold my head up high, keep on walking, and just smile and wave.
(Ignor any spelling mistakes.)

Another one

TO be great is to be misunderstood.

Inspiring quote

"no matter how you feel, get up dress up, and fight for your dreams."

Dinosours, bananas and horses oh my!

I turned my mouse into a donousour and the waiting thing, is a banana.

Again with the project stuff

Okay, so I finished, well, almost finished my physical product. I got all the pictures taken now I just need to get them developed and then I will probably take a survey on which one looks better. It would help for support on my thesis. Oh! and maybe I can also ask random people where they think the future of photography is going. Maybe I can ask them how they think digital photography has impacted lives today. Oh well, I guess I think about that when I get there. For now, all I want to think about is getting this dag'on research done. I had a nice six page paper done, it had a graph and everything. But Noooooo I had to go and get a 65 on it. I thought I did pretty good but Mrs  Micallef thinks that I wasn't trying hard enough, she thinks I can do better. I followed the format she gave me and even changed a few things that didn't really make much sense, but was that good enough? NOPE! So now, I talked with one of my other teachers and they suggested, because its an argumentative research paper that I counter argue my mentors responses in an interview I had given. So I think I might do that, then I could have about 8 or 9 pages in my paper. Oh, and once they are emailed to me and I can edit them, I will try and post some pictures. If anyone is ever going to read this stupid blog -_-

LOST

Oh my god. I can't stop crying, the ending to lost was so sad. *sniffle* I-it-it's so freegin sad. But so happy at the same time. I can't stop crying. I guess the main reason's cause I'm done and can't watch it any more.

Finally!

Weeelp, I finally started the physical part of my graduation project. It didn't go quite like planned cause instead of taking the picture I ended up being a model. I had to be a chick named Frida. I surprisingly looked just like her once the make-up was done, oh and hair too.

Tacos

Okay, I don't know why but I suddenly got a craving for nacho/ taco salad stuff. I just really want some tacos and nachos and some tamalleis. Shoot lets just say a whole Mexican feast. MMmmmm yup, that sounds good right now. Oh and some churros too, don't forget the churros.

Winking old Ladies

Okay so in my last post I said that everything is better with winking. I take that back. Winking makes things funny but when an old person randomly does it to you, it's kind of creepy. Like seriously, have you ever been walking and then you stop for, oh i don't know, to tie your shoe and then and old lady walks up next to you and she smiles and then winks? Well, if this has never happened to you then beware of the winking old ladies. They are out there and they will find you, and when they do, they will wink.

Hey YOU, YOU WITH THE FACE READING THIS!!

Yeaaahh, thats right, I'm talking to YOU. Okay, so now that I have your attention I would just like to say that you should follow this blog. It's not always depressing but until I am done with this stupid graduation project, everything is a downer. But hey on the bright side, you can turn things around with a winky face. Winky faces make everything better. ;) Okay, but seriously, If you follow my blog then comment a link to yours and no matter what your topic is I will follow yours. ;)

Stupid Project -__-

Okay, well. Other then the failing grade and few comments she gave me yesterday and expected me to fix in one night (which I did, like a boss.) She looked at my paper for less then five minutes and pretty much told me that I will have to redo the whole thing all over again. I don't know How long I got, but hey, at least I don't have to present on the 29th. Oh yeah, and thanks to this stupid project, I only got two hours of sleep last night. Whoop whoop for me! Probably going to get the same amount if not then less tonight cause I have to clean, do homework, and pack because I am going to stay with my mom tomorrow night and stay all day for thanksgiving. This is going to be interesting.

Last post

Please ignore my spelling and grammar stuff on the last post. I was really upset when typing it. So ummm yea kay, bye.

Fight with sister

People can be really annoying sometimes. They act like you have all the time in the world to do whatever it is they want you to do. My lord if they ask you to do something and you tell them your going to do it then they should just drop it. Like seriously, I understand if you go back an hour later and the task is still incomplete but when its only 2 seconds later and you get up to go call someone for and important thing and use the bathroom and then you sit down to finish your homework, then no, don't go start yelling at me for no reason saying I have an adittude when all I said is that I will get it done. I'm a person of my word. I will get it done. It ain't my fault if you get yelled at it along side of me too. I mean that one time I took the blam for you, I had to miss what would have been my first concert and clean the whole living room, what do you get when you get yelled at about something I did. Oh right, nothing, thats it you get yelled at, boo freegin whoo. My bob you think your life is so terrible cause your mom is trying to teach you a few lessons. try living with MY mom for a month. Your going to be begging to come back home. Seriously its almost thanks ginving. be happy with what you got. Your not perfect and i know I ain't either so just shush your face.And then don't go on and on about the same thing you said five minutes ago okay I get it. So just drop it all f***ing ready. My bob! But now I feel bad and I wonder if I let her take fault for me more. If I do then I'm sorry, i don't mean too and I will try and work on it but it takes time to break in new habits. sooo umm yea, just shush your face. -____-

Graduation Project

I still don't have any pictures for anything. I love how I look up my friends name on google and there appears to be a tone of pictures from their facebook but when I search my name, I don't get that many pictures. As much as I love my name, I hate, I hate it alot.

Awkward Moments

That awkward moment when you are rocking out to Metallica: One, and your doing what you believe is a really awesome air drumming, cause you look like a firetrucking rock-star in your mind. But then you realize that you are no longer the only person in the room and the other individual is looking at you like you need to be locked up in a mental hospital.

School Sucks

     Okay, I actually really love school. The teachers are great (most of them anyways), my peers are really awesome and I have amazing friends. But ever since Junior year started a few months ago, I have really hated school. Well maybe not school in general 'cause I have no idea what I would do without school. I guess its just this one class in particular; Graduation Project. This class hear is the most tedious thing in the world. You have to write a research paper, do an interview, do some kind of physical product thin based on your research and then you have to make a power point summing the whole project together ending with your "learning stretch." I swear to Bob I am Going to hunt down the person who came up with this genius idea of a class and kill them. If they are dead then I might go and pee on their grave or something, i don't know.
      So, I know it doesn't sound like a lot of work but it actually. It's also highly time consuming when you are trying to balance that, one college class, and a high school chemistry class. Not only balancing that, but being in foster care and having to deal with the pressure of living in fear that you might have to go back home to a bratty four year old and a verbally abusive mom who wishes she had never given birth to you. My dag-on teacher doesnt seem to realize the stress that she has placed on each of us. We all have other things to do then just focus on that one class. She of all people should know that when she is also teaching about four periods of Honors English IV at Isaac Bear (thats the early college high school thing that I go to.) And then a few weeks ago are Final Copy of our research paper was due, I turn mine in on time. We just got them back today, the day that the portfolio's due. She expects us to have every single correction done on everything (includin the outline, paper, interview, bibliography, etc...) all in one night. It is about to be 4am and for the first time in my life I have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I don't know where I went wrong on the paper but for some reason it was worth a 65 i her eyes so now I have to redue that and several other things. Yeah, I know, life is great. But Its better to get as much done as possible and fail knowing you tried then fail knowing you did nothing.
Heeeyyyy I said something wise. Keep note of that cause i could be awhile before that happens again. xD Weelp, I guess I'm gonna get back to work on this stupid project. :\

First Post

Okay, so I was working on my graduation project and I needed a picture of myself. I didn't have any saved to my computer or my flash drive so I decided to 'Google myself.' Surprisingly there was a few pictures of me there. Then I started thing; if I was on google then i must be on other websites too. So I went to 123people.com and searched my name. Once again I found pictures of me. One of them was of some brown mushy stuff and it had a foot print on it. I was curious as to how that related to me so I clicked on it and it brought me here, to blogspot. It ended up being a foot print from a forensics project I had done in biology last year. It wasn't my blog that the picture was on but mine was linked to the picture. I followed the link and it brought me to the blog that I had created. I started to think about how I wanted to write a book about my life but I am too lazy to do that and I keep forgetting to write in my journal. So I figured that being that I'm always on the computer anyways, I could just keep a blog about my life. I'm just hoping that it doesn't turn into something like that chicks blog from Awkward. So ummm yea, thanks for reading. :)